Posted by Janna from Tami's journal...
This disease makes you very vulnerable, a place I try never to be. I have had walls up my entire life to ensure I am not in a place of vulnerability. Cancer rudely threatens in constant ways. I have been confronted with my own mortality, my defenses and strength stripped away. However, because of this weakness, cancer has made me look at life through new eyes. It can defeat me or it can empower me…it is my choice and only I can choose. Sometimes it seems so much easier to choose defeat. That is when I cry out for His strength to remind me HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN ME! He knows my fear and pain. He meets me where I need to be met. Isaiah 42:16, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”
My life was brought to a screeching halt by this disease. For the first time in my adult life, I have learned to be still; to relax, cease striving, let go…One of the lessons I am grateful for on this journey. There is a message for each of us in this illness. Probably many messages. Getting used to a new normal is not an easy thing to do…much easier said than done. Mets to the liver, common they say, but so unexpected by me. I am grateful that CT scans do not tell the whole story, my life is in God’s hands and there is no where else I would rather my life be.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9.
I am always amazed and awed by the strength, courage and wisdom that Tami continued to show to all of us. Even in her death, she has left so many resources and information for others to take along their journey through this unpredictable disease. It is a testament to her faith and acceptance that whatever The Lord placed before her, she, with His guidance and love, could endure the battle and be victorious.
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