Posted by Janna and Ashley from Tami's journal...
The news was good and bad. More battle choices. As I lay contemplating and opening my mind during acupuncture, drawing in its healing and direction, the Lord, once again, let me in on a secret to share as I start chemo. Just as His people were shielded from the angel of death by the blood, my good cells will be shielded from the poison of the agent of death called chemo – it will seek out and destroy only the cancer…I WILL keep my hair!
Having bravado is easy before chemo starts. It is almost impossible once chemo begins. Being diagnosed with a rare type of colon cancer tumor can’t help but strike fear in your heart. I mean I’ve always been unique J but I don’t want to be this unique. I want so much to be brave and courageous for my children; but it is not always an easy task. I put on my brave smile, but chemo sucks!
Cancer changes you. More than any trial or hardship or circumstance. This is life and death – this may be it. How can it not change you? The question is will it change you for the good or the not so good. It would be so easy to give into the fear, the panic, the anger, the why me’s, and just give up. As I lose weight, hair, get mouth sores, teenage acne – I realize these things are not the essence of who I am. Knowing that cancer can lose some of its “grip” – it will never have the real me – my spirit or my mind.