Friday, October 1, 2010

Peace or Panic

I have learned that brokeness can bring wholeness in many ways. So. Cancer.  Cancer does not mean death- I learned that too.  I am ready to take charge; I am arming myself.  But, just how does one go about arming themselves for this battle?  How do you pack for this journey?  This is not just about killing cancer cells. It is about the daily journey; a path to wellness if you will.  So, bring it on cancer, I'm ready...ummm I think I am anyway.  Ok, so choosing wellness sounds good, but what does that mean?

The night before my surgery as I lay in that hospital bed I felt so alone; profoundly alone. Where was God? I needed to know that He was still with me, that I was not alone.  My  heavenly Daddy reminded me He would never leave me.

This battle, this journey, is as much a psychological and spiritual one as it is a physical one; more so, I think.  So how do we choose the path to wellness?  In large part it means choosing hope.  Those darn seeds of hope are tiny and they must be watered daily!  It also means that I will not choose to water the seeds of dispair or fear (why are those seeds always bigger somehow?) 

Wow. So my attitude makes that big of a differance in my healing?  Yep.  Turnes out it does...I have alot of work to do!  What I think and do totally matter.  I will still feel all of those feelings from time to time ( I am human after all) but I can choose not to stay on that path.  Cancer really isn't very funny.  So how do I not get stuck in the sty? Not knowing what lays ahead, how do I look for hope, joy, laughter, beauty?
Next post.....Stop Awfulizing......


  1. You are so right about can make a big differance but I am sure it can be very hard at times!!

    Love and prayers!!

  2. Keep you spirits up and find support and motivation all around you!